‘Remember My Name’ honors victims of domestic violence

In observance of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month each October, S.A.F.E. has made a quiet tradition of annually honoring those who were unable to escape their circumstances. This year’s “Remember My Name” ceremony took place on Thursday, Oct. 2. The gathering is typically small, with a table covered in flowers and informative brochures standing behind the poster that lists the names of the deceased and the Georgia counties they called home.

After the greeting comes the reading of Paulette Kelly’s emotional poem, “I Got Flowers Today,” told from the point of view of a woman who remains with her persuasive, abusive husband until he inevitably ends her life.

The names of last year’s victims are then read aloud, with a single, clear ring from a musical triangle following the acknowledgment. Usually, a survivor of domestic violence shares their story, and this time, that delicate, brave task came to rest on the strong shoulders of Angie Bates.

“My experience began in childhood and extended into my adult years, well into my 30s,” Bates shared, revealing that she was a survivor of assault and physical and emotional trauma.

Despite the weight of self-doubt and financial hardship, she navigated “a world that often felt cold, unforgiving and overwhelmingly difficult” as a single mother of four.

“Unlike the names I am about to read, I was given a chance to survive, and somehow I did,” Bates said, adding that she went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice, which led her to become a victims’ advocate for S.A.F.E.

“Today, I lead a life that is free from the shadow of domestic violence,” Bates continued. “I am living proof that there is light on the other side, that hope can be found even when it is distant, that strength can rise from the darkness of pain.”

Although it plays a major role in the course of the gathering, it’s important to realize that Remember My Name isn’t just about realizing the toll that domestic violence enacts on communities around the state. It’s also about breaking stigma and repelling myth.

Domestic violence can impact anyone of any age, race, educational level or economic status. The insidious tactics of abuse also come in a variety of forms, including physical, emotional and financial.

Enotah Judicial Circuit District Attorney Jeff Langley offered a “bigger-picture view” of domestic violence cases and how, thanks to law enforcement and community groups like S.A.F.E., there are far fewer names on the list of the dead than there would be otherwise.

“What at the time sometimes seems like a low-level battery case may be the most important case of an officer’s career, because it may be that misdemeanor battery case that prevents a murder,” explained Langley, adding the very fitting saying, “Anyone can count the seeds of an apple, but only God can count the apples in a seed.”

Langley also voiced his gratefulness that there were no souls from his district on the name board. He praised local officers and healthcare workers while making sure to remember the roles S.A.F.E. volunteers play in saving lives.

In the wake of recounting the devastation of so much loss, Bates pleaded, “I ask you to remember that there are still so many out there still fighting, still surviving, still searching for hope. Let us stand with them, and let us be the light.”

If you or a loved one is in a compromising domestic situation, the S.A.F.E. office can be contacted at 706-379-1901, and the Butterfly House Child Advocacy Center can be reached at 706-835-1637. The crisis hotline is 706-379-3000.

S.A.F.E. provides support, advocacy and emergency shelter for victims of Domestic Abuse, Child Abuse, and Sexual Abuse, regardless of gender, and heightens community awareness of such abuse in Towns and Union counties. For more information, visit https://safeservices.org/.